As a girl madly in-love... she feels selfish.

She doesn't know what to do or think, because she's confused. And when he left her, her world crumbled down to bits and pieces of indescribable particles that left her in the verge of breaking down. He told her a lot of things. And she actually couldn't remember a lot.

Because through that time, she refused to listen. She refused to accept that reality had bitten her hard on the arse and that she's finally getting what Karma should've given her a long time ago.

Playing with hearts shouldn't be left unpunished.

And she felt persistent. She wanted to stay and convince him that she was everything that he thought she would be. And did she try fooling herself with pretending that everything was fine and dandy? Of course. Because what else can she do, but act as if she was happy.

She promised him, didn't she?

Because they were the bestest of friends--

And although that thought hurt her for awhile, she tried moving on. Keyword: Tried. She felt absolutely pathetic when she was crying inside the church, too. She found out he was somewhere--and probably having fun--while she was stuck with the thought that she wasn't enough.

She felt too miserable to even care how she looked like right at those moments, because the thought of him in her class as they try to listen to the professor--and fail--and how he gives her those funny expressions he does with his face when he wants to look cute resurfaces since the next day would be that class exactly.

And she remembers those little things that made her fall in love with him in the first place.

Consequently, as soon as she received word that they would meet up that exact night, she felt her heart beat faster and twice as hard in her chest. She wanted badly to see him. She wanted badly to win him back. But she accepted the fact that he needed more time.

And so, when time passed and they were together--and went apart for a few moments--as soon as she came back to where he was... then and there he took her in his arms and kissed her. Tears flowing freely through their eyes, but still--she felt selfish.

Because now she knows her mistakes, and she wants to learn from them--she forgets that in the first place, she'll need to control herself. But she can't. Because he is like a drug to her. And she can't seem to get enough.

She knows she needs to get a life (outside his world), but the seconds with him is where she feels the happiest and without him seems the most painful. And it hurts her that she feels this way, because she knows she has become too clingy.

And she's not sure if that's what he wants.

If he hasn't noticed, she always tries to pay the tab when they're out. Why? Because being with him actually doesn't need a price. And it's her time with him--and hopefully he would understand. Money doesn't matter as much when happiness would cost. But isn't it silly to think that way?

She tries her hardest to get to know his friends just so she can get to his other part as well. Because it's important for her to get to know his other world, and not just the world he let her see. But was it a right move? Did she even think of those consequences?

Because now, she exists in both worlds... and that must make him find it harder to breathe.

The more pressure he would feel that she's always there. Won't she try and make him miss her?

But she can't. She's weak. And she can't possibly make him miss her when she, herself, can't last without him and her desperately missing him as well. She finds it unfair.

And yet, how they think is definitely different from what they would expect.

Because one day, he will tell her that she's not treating him like a boyfriend--and the next she'll hear that she's already strangling him with her relationship grip. And that confuses her. What do men really want?