So I'm listening to Midnight Hour's "Running Away".

I want a happy blog tonight (although I'm listening to sad music right now), even though I can totally say that I'm not in my best mood.

I want to remember the happy times today.

Like when Bee taught me how to skate (I fell twice, but I loved the rush).

Like when we walked at the Spine Road under the moonlit sky... and the sky was really pretty, right? (And now, I suddenly remembered you telling this story about bunnies making rice cakes in Japan. Haha. Adorable. :])

Like the harutans we had in Jollibee, because Myco is such a curious pervert.

Like when we kissed inside the tricycle... just because. :)

And... and... I actually just wanted this to be a happy night. I tried so hard to be happy... because I felt so nervous about tomorrow. About the check-up. About... everything. And I wanted to forget it. At least just for tonight.

I'm sorry, Bee... for being so moody. I try hard naman not to be eh... ang nakakainis lang talaga is that... I know when my curfew is. I texted him what time I will be home, but I don't know. I think Globe is just fucked up. Then you know what? He has the audacity to tell my mum that I shouted at him! I didn't even talk the whole time he was talking to me!

He wants to look good in front of my mum by making me look bad! My mum allows me to be out till 11, actually, but for him (since he told me) he said I have to be home at least by 10. We still follow my curfew, really!

And you know what he told me kanina? He said, in his exact words, "okay, di na ako makikielam."

AND HE TOLD ME THAT, LIKE WHAT? A FEW MONTHS AGO PA. Dear God.

I know, he's my dad. He's just concerned. But seriously, don't say stuff like that when you know you're not going to follow them anyway, diba? Lying is not becoming of him. Now, you know where I get my lying facade from.

... I just wanted to forget things tonight. Well, guess what? I didn't. And now I feel like total shit. :)

... But hey. Keep smiling, right? Because everything will become better.

Unless I explode. And let's hope not.

Now I want to rant on your behalf.

You have so many frustrations.

I want to help, but I feel like I'm part of them.

I hate being moody. Because I know it affects you.

But you just keep on absorbing my frustrations.

I want to ask you a favor... please.

When you see I ignore you or when I bitch to you--

--don't walk away. I don't say it, but I need you a lot.

Because at that time, it's that moment where I really need you.

When I told Myco about wanting space? It was a lie. I want to be around people.

Especially you. Because you make me feel like I'm not alone. And I'm loved.

You know when you're not feeling well or annoyed--

--unless you tell me to go away... I'll always be there for you.

Because I want you to feel that even though the world is crashing down on you,

I'm there with you.