going with your flow.

moosic is my religion.

my stalkers.

tagboard

stringlets.

reminisce.

thanks.

Design: doughnutcrazy
Icon: morphine_kissed

Empty Tears

Bea: is confuzzled.:D but smiles silly anyway.
Bea: und i blame nicole.
ADi: HAHAHA. WHYY? XD
Bea: bikass. its you i got it from.
Bea: ...Being able to smile at everything. :)
ADi: ... aww. It's hard, though... right? Haha.
ADi: Just smiling at everything and fooling everyone that
you're okay when you're not.

Because every smile seems so empty now. :)

Don't you sometimes wish that you were numb? I used to wish for that. I willed the hurt away, I wanted it to go away... but now, I just want to feel. Because when I cry... I just feel the tear slide down my cheeks and the pain in my chest constrict, but the emotion fades.

So. Easily.

During Physics earlier, I cried. And I was confused why I was crying. Because I felt the pang of hurt--as quickly as it came--it was gone. I wanted to look at Joji. I wanted to smile at him and be able to feel that I was alright.

But I couldn't.

Because I wasn't. But I didn't feel it. I knew it.

... why did I change?

He knew me as the happy-go-lucky girl. The one who smiles at everything. The one who always wanted to have fun--because it made her feel that she was still alive and that everybody else wanted her to feel the same.

Nowadays, when I laugh, it feels so shallow. What happened?

Hey, unfateful. I'll teach you how to be stronger.

This day feels like a whisper. I don't mind it at all.

And so, I hung out with Alexis, Myco, and Reza tonight at Phase 5 and ate isaw and BBQ.

Because when I gave you my heart,

you wrote on it and gave it back.

I replied with small letters,

and I suddenly felt my heart ache
(and you didn't notice it).

You came down and looked at me,

I looked back and smiled

(because it's the only thing I can do).

And when we made up,

and I gave you a hug--

you kissed my heart.

And you put it back.

You kept it and it's beat resumed its track.

Labels: empty, hangout