going with your flow.

moosic is my religion.

my stalkers.

tagboard

stringlets.

reminisce.

thanks.

Design: doughnutcrazy
Icon: morphine_kissed

I wonder why--

--even with everything you're putting me through, I still find all the little things that keeps on making me love you.

Hungout with ate Anna, MJ, and James today at The Point. Haha. And then hungout and chatted and met up with other Koreans. It was absolutely fun. Haha.

I--

--am still crazy.

You'd let everything he does go.

Uta no youni, koori tsuku kisetsu sae kaeranara.

I'm not trying to win you back.
I'm trying to win you over.
Like a girl crush, I'm no sober.
But baby, all I want is to win you over.

I didn't go to any of my Saturday classes. I decided to become a bad influence to my friend, Alexis, and we played L4D instead and met up with Nap at PC Buts and Tacky at 7/11. Around nighttime, ate Anna picked me up and we went to the church for the Lenten Recollection. Afterwards, we dropped off some people at Brgy. Malamig and I'm seriously tired.

Oh, and I'm posting a new novel on Facebook called, "Star-Deceased". The title sounds weird so it might be just a temporary name. Anyways, excerpt? Here you go:

“So… you’re going to treat us out, right?”
He smirked as my head turned to him in shock, my jaw dropped and my eyes wide open. My voice wouldn’t come out from my lips as I mouthed the words, but not saying them.“W-what?” I stuttered. “B-but… I’m broke!”He raised a brow at me and said haughtily, “I just saw earlier that you had six hundred bucks in your wallet, rich kid.”
I cringed and he knew he won. The bastard, I seethed silently.

Moving mountains.

I couldn't even release the tears I'm holding on to in my own room now.

I need to let them out. But I can't. I don't want to look weak in front of my family.

I had my heart open, ready and steady. And when I checked again, it was gone and all that was left were trails of blood... almost forgotten. I can do this, you know?

But what to do when the psychological / emotional problem I have started in my very own home?

If I could, I'll fight for you.
If you let me, I would.

If you want, I'll stay for you.
If you don't... no more.

Tears, don't you fall.
Not now. If you can--
never at all.

Luckie me, luckie you.

I HAVE A NEW PUPPY.

And I don't know what to name her, yet. Haha! My sisters keep on teasing me to name her after... *cough*, though so I could remember him but then again... she's a girl. Haha! But I want to name her Luckie, though. Hmm.

Well... today~ I hung out with Lexy and Myco! We played Left4Dead and then ate at Mc D's for some late lunch around... 2 PM. Haha! Afterwards, some ice cream and slurpees at 7/11. Then we went to Bel Air 1 and chilled at Myco's pad!

We played with his game console and talked. Haha.

I didn't know I was talked of by friends that I trusted. Really... who can I trust nowadays? Haha! Seriously, people. I'm trying to attract good Karma. Help me out here, won't you? I don't want to think that I'm going to sail alone here in this journey with issues that I have yet to sort out.

And wish me luck on this plan I have! Can't wait. :3

Labels: chill, hangout, love, music

Tues-date.

A date with two of my BBs.

I missed them muchos. :)

Bad note: Failed TRIGMAT due to absences. Shiz. And I look dead... in a weird pale way. Haha! And I'm scared of commuting now. I thought I was going to die as the tricycle driver drove too fast along the dark road going to my village. Ugh. Must. Remember: No such thing as luck.

Labels: chill, food, foolish, hangout

I laugh.

Happy 21st birthday, Kyle Lazo!

I had uuuuuber fun jamming with you guys. And your dad is so awesome. Haha. Anyways, the food was great. The company was great. The jamming was great. And although it drizzled, it was still great. :)

My voice changed, though. Haha. But it sounds "cooler" or so Paul Junio says. Haha! And apparently, I was a "gatecrasher" even though I was unofficially invited by people. Haha! Ohwells. :P

Labels: birthday, chill, debut, jam

Hey happiness.

Independence. Freedom. I say hello.

He's in love with the world and--
sometimes these feelings can be so misleading,
He turns and says, "Are you alright?"
Oh, I must be fine cause my heart's still beating.

I just can't wait for summer to come. ♥

So... still in love. Still hooked. But hey, what can a girl do? Just wait and let him come to you. ;)

Note to self: I seriously should try becoming an actress someday. I'm so good at acting it makes me want to slam my head against the wall. Haha!

Labels: going with the flow

I have 302 blogs--

--and you're in 289 blog posts.

Sometimes, silence is the loudest kind of noise.

Back when it was so easy. Like one, two, three... without the square roots and the variables from a to z. Like when chemistry didn't mean check out the temperature and if the ingredients were right, but how you blend with the person you love and how you feel happy when they're around.

Back when holding hands meant never letting go and keeping you till the end of the get-go. Like when poetry is romantic and the words used were deep and the response would be ecstatic. Like when playing with her hair meant I like you and I don't mind spending this time with you, because it meant so much more.

Like when you get lost, you stay where you are and wait. Because you'll know someone will look for you... and someone will always find you. Like when you were at the smoking area and you were writing on the ground as I watched you from afar. Wishing I was there to draw with you, talk to you, laugh with you, and just be with you.

And back when all I have ever done was write you love poems. And some days there will be the occassional hurt poetry but they wouldn't really matter. Because deep down, there will always be those love poems amidst the scary black cloud that surrounds it. And I wrote you those love poems, everyday, with those soft sweet words of surrender when I kiss your jaw and snuggle on the crook of your neck--

--and all I ever wanted was your kisses.

Want to kiss you beneath that mane of hair. Want to kiss you as I hugged you from the back and your nape ready and bare. Want to kiss you with open eyes and smile as I see your eyes closed. Want to kiss you in front of strangers, uncaring and display of how everything is. Want to kiss you on your earlobe and see your lips lift up to a grin. Want to kiss you on the nose, your cheeks, your eyes, your lids, your eyebrows, want to play with your hair as I hold your head steady.

Want to kiss you and tell you I love you.

But that was back when it was so easy as ABC and not caring how many numbers there are after one, two, three. So now I keep all these feelings bottled up in silence. And time is all I'm counting on when all I want will come amidst this space.

Because sometimes, silence... really is the loudest kind of noise.

Next time I hold her, I won't let her go, he says.

If he still loves you, then he'll go back.

If he comes back to you...

... then you'll know it's true.

Last day of the CA week. Wasn't what I expected... wasn't what I wanted. But then it happened. So really... who could I blame? Haha. Life... it's some crazy shit that I have to live. And I lost so much weight. Damn. I'm a skeleton.

I had so much optimism last night. I was so positive that I was grinning like crazy. I had so much hope, but then again... today. I wasn't even so sure about it. Haha! People keep on asking me how I was holding up--

If I could say what I want to say,

I'd say I want to blow you... away;

Guess I'm wishing my life away,

With these things I'll never say.

Oh damn.

Is optimism such a bad thing?

And--people keep on telling me... "time" but then my heart (and the beer talking) tells me that I should start on "the work".

Isn't it too early?

Pre, malay mo--

bukas wala ng oras.

Mas maganda ng--

maaga. Hahaha!

A corner.

Just because.

I lost four pounds in two days.

Everywhere I go, there you go. With that goofy smile and that hilarious laugh. I open my eyes wide and I can see you there. When I blink for a minute, you go away. But when I close my eyes and imagine, I can feel your kisses.

[this is the look of a girl with no sleep.]

Might've failed my TRIGMAT exam again... but I'm trying to attract the good vibes so no. I'm not going to fail. Yes? Haha! Oh! And I curled my hair. I like it. I might do it continuously from now on. Just to distract myself right now. :)

[ATC. Burger King. Sundae. White Chicks. Half-Baked.

Little black dress. Lingerie. Groceries.]

Labels: chill

Time.

Hello?

Fever dreams.

In the mornings when I wake up--

--I would wish you were beside me.

Labels: bee, mix

Ang Unang Kendeng ni Nene.

I was late for DEVCOMM class for an hour--like always. It was our report for our COMCOMM today. I think we did well. Thank God. Around lunch time, our professor dismissed us early, so Lex, Cat, Jem, Sandovie, and I went to Paseo and had lunch.

Lex and I went around to ask for prices. We then went to Humana and was going to ask Roy for a price list, but apparently, he was busy. So we went to Jollibee instead and ate lunch.

After some lunch, which was around 2 PM, we were already late for our next class. Lex and I went back to Humana and picked up Jordan and Sho. We went to class, but not really. After that stupid stupid time, we went back to Humana and hungout till 6-something.

We (Bee, Roy, Sho, Jordan, Mickey and I) went to Bicutan for Ralph's gig at The Checkpoint Bar under Brainchild Productions that night. We were early so we went to Pizza Hut and ate dinner. When we went back, we were still early so we stayed on the front steps with the rest of the semi-early people. Haha.

The bands who played were just awesome. Really. The range was from Metal, Chill, JRock, and Rock. Mostly metal. I had fun. Went home around 4.30 AM really, really tired that I fell asleep in the car in Joji's arms. Unfortunately, he had to move to the back, because there was already space.

Thank you, Roy, for the awesome day. Thank you, Jordiee, for lending me your 50 MM lens. And thank you, Bumbum... for the hugs and care. :)

Labels: bee, chill, music

Southside.

The exam on TRIGMAT was moved to next week! Omg, yay!

Skatepark at Calamba. And then Yellow Cab at Paseo for a midnight dinner.

Labels: bee, food, photoshoot, skates

So young and naive.

Day of boredom.

Labels: bee, chill, photoshoot

Vow.

Bee picked me up from my pad around lunchtime and we went to the LTO at Susana Heights. The wait was long, but I didn't feel like it was. We probably stayed there for an hour and a half, but the time was quick to pass.

I finally have my student's license after two fucking years of waiting. You read that right.

We walked around SM Muntinlupa for a while and went on the road. We had a pitstop at the gasoline station going back to Laguna. We ate at McDonald's and chilled for a while. Afterwards, off to his pad where we took naps.

We woke up around 7 or so and had a tickle fight. That's right.

I facebooked. He multiplied. Listened to imeem.

And off I go home.

Kapag ikaw nawala sa akin siguro--

lahat ng babae... lolokohin ko.

Labels: bee, chill, good times, listening

Pag-ibig, kasintahan, may malalim na kahulugan.

I went to Bee's place after my TRIGMAT class. Walked through the searing heat, but it was worth all the trouble.

Photoshoot with Bumbum. ♥

After that, he took me to SM to watch this Filipino movie called, "You Changed My Life" or something along the lines of that. And it actually reminded me of our own love story. Haha. Oh my.

We ate pizza from Pizza Hut, buttered popcorn, Pasta Bowl and Snack box from KFC for dinner. Haha. It was a fun day. Although, I'm dreading my TRIGMAT exam on ~~Thursday~~Friday. Oh my. I do hope I pass. *fingers crossed*

I'll figure things out.

Time will tell.

Labels: bee, chill, movie, photoshoot

What do you see?

As a good friend once said, "We see a lot of things that we didn't see in our future when we were kids that are now here, anyway."

Take what it is when it happens.

Insane? No. Raaaaaamen. Let's change restaurants, since I'm craving for it. Do you think I'm already the one? Heaven doesn't need porn because they're all naked up there, anyways. You're so beautiful... thank you. Ichi. Oh? Nasaan na yung kapal? Well, I played frisbee and I learned new tricks, Bee. Orly? Well, I can beat your arse on that even though I'm wearing a skirt. *raises brow* Or... maybe not. Because you're so manly and so strong. Oh my. Damn right.

Am I insane? No, why are you even thinking that way? Then why are you thinking that way? Bullshit. I love you. How much? This much... from this point, all around the world, until this point. My girlfriend is so smart. You're so awesome. I expect so much more from you. It's how I see myself in the future. As much as I want to, I keep hoping that maybe--

I just want to be

a part of you.

Labels: bee, chill, cry, food, love, thoughts

Eleventh.

Happy 11th Monthsary, Bumbum!

I went to SM with my family for some grocery shopping. Haha. Basically, that's what's all that happened today. And we watched the Oscars around the nighttime. Although, I feel bad for Bee's family since what's happening right now. I do hope his gramma's sister gets better or if not, may her soul rest peacefully.

Missing you.

Labels: bee, family, love, monthsary