going with your flow.

moosic is my religion.

my stalkers.

tagboard

stringlets.

reminisce.

thanks.

Design: doughnutcrazy
Icon: morphine_kissed

Corner

So I see this couple right?

And they hug without abandon. And I see them.

And I notice I'm alone in this corner.

As I watch them, I feel the cold.

And I hug myself tighter. And I wear my jacket to find warmth.

But I wasn't satisfied.

So I just smile. In this little corner.

As I watch them hug without abandon.

And I cry a little inside. (:

Labels: here

... He's...

He looks happier without me. :)

Maybe I should just evaporate.

oOo

what could be p i t y.

when it wasn't considered as right--
of pitiful misconceptions and misunderstandings.

they've ended within the badly written words.

a pitiful hatchet. a pitiful larose.
with her finger on her lips.

a pitiful show.

[more than just a blow]

painted nails to crimson,
from bright pastel colours to blood,
reach reach reaching out.

without a ~~bloody~~ sound.

what could be his pity.

for she wasn't right at all.

would he stay or would he go?
whichever. will she have the right to know?

10: 45 PM
Bati na kami! :D

Labels: poetry

Still Sad

I couldn't think the whole day.
~~Bonding time with my family... except my dad went to his friend's house instead.~~

... great. (':

Naninikip ang dibdib...
'Di makahinga sa kakaisip...

Labels: tear

Here?

After class, I went to Paseo alone (thanks for the ride, Zy).

Saw Nicol and the others so I decided to stay with them.

Afterwards, went to Nicol's pad to... just chill...

Calm myself down.

So yeah. That's it.

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar,
The only one who's got enough for me to break my heart.

Labels: day

Cry

Cos I say the stupidest things.

When all I want to say is I love you and I'll never leave you.

I'm sorry.

Labels: sad

Caught

Open up your eyes and see like me.

Hope you find love. Love. Love.

Caught during the afternoon. Damn. Lol. Anyways, today... today is an adorable day. There's nothing much I can say but I love it all the way from the afternoon till twilight came. Love love love.

Forgetting the shitty friendship I have, I have Bee and mates who I know will stick by me no matter what. Love love love.

Doesn't hurt too much to fly...
Love is in our sky.

Labels: 9 in the afternoon, sexy times

All Stars

Bitches don't know...

... that I know.

Keep talking behind my back and karma will bite you hard in your fucking arses. So you think you can just walk away talking crap about me and fucking get away with it without butthurt? Bitches don't know that I take revenge in silence.

Bitches don't know that I plant seeds of hate in silence.

Bitches don't know that it hurts worse when you backstab me when you're considered as a close friend.

Bitches don't know that I'm almost to the brink where insanity is close. Close. Very close.

I'm not the only one who's pissed, mind you. A lot of us are tired of you guys bitching. Bitching. Bitching. Bitching. About business that you shouldn't even be minding! What the hell, hos?

Stop spreading your shits. We're tired of them.

You guys should feel lucky that I told Bee to not do anything to you guys. You fucktards make me sick. And here I thought that I was lucky to have friends that aren't bitches and bastards. Gahd, you guys proved me wrong. But I'll still keep smiling. You guys know me. In whatever circumstances, I'll treat you the same. But the trust and friendship are dwindling away.

Your insults and rumours are of no value now. Be gone. K, bye.

Thank you to Bee for the meal.
The stargazing. The harutans.
And for the understanding tonight.

Labels: bitches

Chips! Ahoy!

So today I went out with Ali to Mocha Blends for some bonding time.

I miss Ali. My uber awesome best friend. Lol. Anyways, we watched Kung Fu Panda there and hung out and ate out for four hours straight in Mocha Blends. Afterwards, we went to Treats to buy some ice cream then around Paseo.

We crashed into Melissa along the way.

Then we hung-out around Paseo and took pictures. Lol.

We got bored so we decided to go to Tagaytay. It was a really fun experience! Like, seriously. To go to Picnic Grove during the night when it was already closed and the people guarding the gate letting you in regardless was so awesome.

We felt so special. Lol.

So yeah, we had a picnic there around 7 till 8 and took more pictures. We talked about a lot of random stuff and I was so paranoid since there were a lot of stray dogs and cats lurking around in the dark.

Then when it was time to go home, we talked about our scary experiences before. I was so freaked out with the stories--I had goosebumps.

*shudders*

So anyways, then Melissa went straight to Bel-Air and Ali and I were left in Paseo again. We hung out till 10--we walked around, sat down and talked/ate, then walked around again.

Then off to home~

What sucks to know is that--when I'm not with Bee... I don't have curfew.

Well... fuck.

... *sighs* I missed him today.

Haaaay. And I haven't had dinner yet... ohwells. Chips is alright, I guess?

Labels: picnic, tagaytay

Vya's 18th

It was Vya's 18th yesterday and I was an Emcee for the program prepared (slightly).

So yeah, problems arose and stuff like that. I went for an overnight at Vya's pad with Bee and Marmie. I went home around 9 PM today-8, supposed to be but papa picked me up at Shakey's cos he was pissed at me that I didn't text him.

I wanna apologize to him, but he just suddenly lashed out at me. So I was like... meh.

I wanna apologize to Bee too... he doesn't have any faults but papa is lashing out at him the same way he's lashing out at me. But papa's just lashing out on Bee's behalf to me. So that sucks ass.

Actually, that sentence didn't make sense.

Fucking hell. I'm still drunk-tipsy.

And I have class early tomorrow. Double fuck. And I have to apologize to Bee... triple fuck. I hate this.

Labels: bee, debut, hidden sexy times, shit, vya

House

Cos we play our game well,

And we slosh around this fairytale,

Noises made from our throats,

Underneath sheets that warms the flesh.

So today was almost forgettable.

But had dinner with Bee at Mocha Blends.

Then to National Bookstore to giftwrap our present to Vya. Which is so awesomely pretty, by the way. Afterwards, to his pad and looked for Migs.

Tomorrow, Vya's debut! Woot, woot! :D

Labels: bee, sexy times

Fashion

So I went to Makati today.

Earlier the day, though, everybody was pissed and frustrated. But along the way, it eased up. I was with Sharelle's family today and first, we dropped off her brother (the older one) at Asia Pacific College. Afterwards went to Glorietta. Sharelle and I looked around the mall for stuff to buy then after, met up with Bee at Greenbelt.

We ate at Jollibee (lmao) cos we didn't have enough money for expensive restaurants. Sob.

After that, went around Greenbelt then back to Glorietta for some window shopping since we didn't have enough time. Haha.

Bee left us around 10 minutes before we had to go to La Salle College - International. It's this fashion school in Salcedo street. Lmao.

So anyways, we met up with tito Lev Rodriguez. He's a cool fashion designer dude. A lot of accomplishments and whatnots. A nice guy too! Down-to-Earth and has a great fashion sense. But of course~ since he's a fashion designer and all. Haha.

So yeah, we interviewed him and all that jazz. It was fun. There was some picture-taking for class and all that snazz but I also found this mannequin hands and I thought it was cool.

So I took pictures of it. Haha.

So yeah, back to the day. Bee picked me up at 7/11 then we walked towards their condo. My god, it's so near Greenbelt. Haha. Now I know why he's always there. Haha.

Makati is so amusing.

I'm so going to Makati for my OJT. Lmao.

Anyways.

We hung out there for awhile then went back to Greenbelt then to Glorietta. We drank this snazzy Melon Fizz in Jipan and it was so. Freaking. Good. Haha. Seriously. Everyone should try it.

Theeeen, we went shopping some more (and I had to buy shorts cos my pants were chafing my inner thigh) and bought some stuff and all that. I love shopping... when I have the cash. But today, I didn't have much cash. So that sucks.

Afterwards, tita Gi called (mommy~) and told us that we should just eat out. So we ate at the food court and ordered at somewhere called World Chicken or something. I forgot but it's freaking good. Haha. Got so freaking full and... yeah. Just really, really full.

Then we walked back towards their condo. Went up to the rooftop. And stared at the prettiness that is Makati. I love it there now. Seriously.

We went down to their pad after a while and had a little chat with tita before we go home. It was a funny conversation. Haha.

Then, traffic going back to Laguna! But it was fun. Haha, a little bit of teasing in the car and all that shiz.

When we reached Sta. Rosa, we first dropped off ate Francine at Bel-Air with the groceries and he dropped me off to my place.

But before that, we hung out first. Haha. So yeah. All in all, this day was F.U.N. Except for the part of my dad being sick and couldn't breathe and that he needs to be operated bit. So yeah. I'm so going to pray tonight. Hopefully everything's going to be alright. *cringe*

Anyway.

Can't wait for tomorrow. ;)

Labels: bee, makati

Gas-gas

Today is seriously my unluckiest day ever.

I scratched my ATM card.

My laptop.

My phone.

My legs.

Even my nails.

I mean... what the hell? What's wrong with me today?

Ugh. Then we were supposed to have training for Dance Troupe today, but unfortunately it was moved to tomorrow.

However, I'm going to Makati tomorrow so tough luck.

But I learned new stuff today anyway and we hung out. Hmm. I missed Bee today. I didn't see him all day, but I hope he's already in Makati. Safe and sound.

Now all I have to worry about is myself and tomorrow. Haha. Have to sleep early today. Mou.

... gah. Stupid fashion designer! Maarte! Gah!

*shot*

Labels: dance, unlucky

Tampo-Be-Gone

So I was being tampo today and all that jazz. I have no idea why but I was so... Ugh. Anyways, Bee and I had a little misunderstanding. I can honestly say it's my fault because I was too much of a PMS-ing bitch to even think about how he's reacting to my mood.

He took me out with Migs to Paseo and we hung out there (also met up with Roy). But as expected, I bitched and so as I bought ice cream, he went around to calm himself down. I completely felt like a jackass and I apologized. I seriously need to control myself and stop bitching around. Ugh.

But after that, we went to Mocha Blends to try it out and guess what? We found a better place to hang out in than Starbucks. It's an awesome and cozy place. Mmm... looove the ambiance and the way the place was decorated.

So we stayed there and hung out. It was fun and the food was great!

Anyways, can't wait till Thursday. I'm going to Makati to interview a Fashion Designer with Sharelle. Woot, woot! :D

Labels: bee

Negative

First of, the day started out as a paranoid mess.

Then until the end of the day, it's still a paranoid mess. I mean, what the hell? My tita went up to my room without any consent from me if she could enter and asked me for my ATM card. Okay, it's my fucking ATM card, biatch, what's wrong with you?

I know that I have a few fucking millions in my account, but she has no fucking right to just get my card from me! It's my fucking card, she has her own. Please, bitch, step back.

So what if she doesn't trust me with the account--I mean... it's MINE. I'll do whatever the fuck I want with it and I'm not going to fucking lose it. What am I? Stupid? Shut the hell up and back off, bitch, cos you are of no position to get my money from me. I was entrusted with that fair and square and if you think that's unfair well, that's not my problem, is it?

Ugh. That just pissed me off.

At least my dad trusts me with it. Amf.

... so in a lighter note, Vya got her haircut today and I got this test. Sigh. I passed with it and... yeah. :]

I'm not paranoid anymore. As well as Bee.

...

Life. Why are you so complicated?

Labels: bee, paranoia

Fahjas Day

So it's Father's Day and papa treated us out to a shopping spree.

But I still spent my own money so I'm now broke. Officially. Haha.

P 3,000 worth of clothes and accessories. Hoemagad.

And I still needed that money to buy papa and Vya a gift.

I know what you're thinking... I mean, why the hell did my father treat us when he was supposed to be the one to be pampered today on Father's Day? I have no idea either, but it was a welcome treat.

So we went to Paranaque around 2 (I called Cat on my cell to pass the time--and waste load) and went around for something good to buy. After Paranaque, we went to Festival and I did more shopping. That's about it. Today was all about shopping. Lol.

And now my brain hurts. Yay. I need sleep. I have to be early tomorrow. Shucks.

Labels: father's day

Sexy Times

Yesterday was Friday the 13th.

It was an okay day. Spent the night with Bee, James, Myco, Ralph, and Roy.

We went to McDo then hung out at 7/11.

Today... I woke up early, but Bee woke up earlier. He was worried that I was going to school at 8 when I didn't even get much sleep the night before. I actually slept at 4 AM. Haha.

Anyways, I went to school at 11 AM and saw that the shoot for Animo Teatro was already being done and I was like, "what the hell? I went here for nothing?"

But I saw Bee and I felt like shit since he went there for just a picture. And I'm like... shit.

Gah, anyways. I had a practice for Lucid that afternoon--which I didn't know about--then Bee went with me to my house to get new clothes. We dropped by the newly blessed house near us (it's ours as well), and hung there for at least a few minutes.

We went to school afterwards. Then I had practice... I felt queasy, though, so I seriously felt like I was going to collapse during the practice. But at least Bee was there all throughout that time. Around 5, we went back to my house so I can take a quick shower then go to his place so he can shower as well.

While he was taking a shower, I watched Kung Fu Panda. Mmm... for the second and a half time (the half time was when he was watching it on his laptop and I was watching it through his webcam).

Then we were supposed to watch this comedy movie with boobs but we got distracted. Haha.

Around 10, we went to Paseo and ate at Umni. Hoemagad! We were so freaking full that we couldn't even walk straight.

Then he brought me home before midnight. :)

I love this day (especially my Bee, haha). Now, I think I'll go sleep. Haha. I'm so freaking exhausted. *drops dead (figuratively)*

Labels: bee, sexy times

Shout

Today, I don't remember much what happened just that... I edited a lot of pictures and spent my night with Bee as we watched Dead Silence.

Scary ass shit right there. Haha.

The cinematics were awesome, like seriously. The setting, the transitions... totally astounding.

I kept shouting, and shouting, and shouting--and shouting... haha. Ohwells. I'm glad Bee had the guts to stay with me as I shouted the shit out of my lungs. Haha. My throat hurts now.

So bad.

But anyways, yes.

Tomorrow... *sigh* what to do tomorrow-- *ponders*

Labels: bee, horror

First Cry

This day was full of surprises.

First part of the day was crazy. GRPCOMM was cancelled so my friends and I went to Paseo to hang out. Next was INTPHIL at 1 PM. I was crazy there, honest to God. I was completely not myself and I am so weirded out with it.

Afterwards was training with Benedict. Learned a lot but had to pay big bucks for the lessons and I'm like... what the hell? It's not free?

Then, went to say goodbye to Bee as I went to the football field. Went straight to Bel-Air to visit Pia. We talked, laughed, and she tripped, and now she's injured, and I'm traumatized.

Seriously.

I cried and texted Pappi cos I was thinking he was going to tell Bee anyways.

And I was right since Bee went straight to McDo to check up on us. Pia's grandmother then came and brought her home. I then sat down on the grass and... thinked.

I'm seriously not going to think anymore. Ugh.

We went to 7/11 and bought Gatorade. Bee asked where I wanted to go and we decided to the Football field.

I cried again as we reached the car. He held me close and hushed me as I calmed down.

We talked about what was bothering us and... after three years of not showing any weaknesses... He showed his vulnerability to me. And I was touched cos he trusted me that much. Gah! Anyways. Yeah.

Then he brought home by 10. We hung out first and he showed me his dance moves, haha!

So after that, he went home around 11 and now I'm blogging. :]

Wee. So that was my day. Interesting, ne?

Labels: bee

Grab

Today was as boring as hell.

But at least I got the chance to spend some time with Bee. :)

We went to Bel-Air and bought: isaw, BBQ, kwek-kwek, hotdogs, and Pepsi. Gods, I'm still so full and I haven't even eaten dinner yet (it's 10 PM now).

Migs is now "bunking"--more like living together--with Bee at his house so they're going to have a lot of fun together.

... HAHA! *cough*

Yes.

So anyways, where was I? Ah yes. First time I went home with my dad as my ride from somewhere near Joji's pad. I asked him to pick me up at McDo so I won't be such a bother. Haha.

And I also went home early! By 7, I was already here. Not. Doing. Anything.

Boredom. But. Yeah. This is a normal day of boredom.

Tomorrow, I'm going to Bel-Air again, but for a different reason. I'm going to have some quality time together with Pia and hang-out with her. :)

Won't that be fun? I miss my HS friends. *sigh*

So... yeah. I think I should go down and eat something before I go to sleep. Haha. Oh and gahddemn, I have a quiz for GRPCOMM pala! Shit. *scrambles off to study*

Well, Ben just called from New Zealand and haha. It was so silly.

NicÖji * says:
you silly ass.
NicÖji * says:
hahaa.
NicÖji * says:
let's just talk here. ((:
Ben says:
lmao
NicÖji * says:
youre going to paaay a looot for that call.
NicÖji * says:
HAHAHA. youre so silly. ((:
Ben says:
meh i dont care xD
NicÖji * says:
LOOOOL.
Ben says:
it was worth it xcD
NicÖji * says:
well, you're rich. D:
NicÖji * says:
AWWW!
NicÖji * says:
<333

Labels: bee, boredom, hangout

Love You Bee

Bibiboo (6/9/2008 5:25:09 PM): i love you, bee.
Bibiboo (6/9/2008 5:25:11 PM): super love you.
Bumbum (6/9/2008 5:28:38 PM): awwww!
Bumbum (6/9/2008 5:28:44 PM): i wuv you uber!
Bumbum (6/9/2008 5:28:50 PM): duper

Labels: bee, love

Movie date

So I went out with Bee today in ATC.

We watched Kung Fu Panda and it was so freaking adorable!

But before that, we went around and ate at Burger King. Wow. It was a meal that I seriously couldn't forget today because it made me so full that... yes, basta. So full. Haha. Afterwards, we went around and we had our picture taken at this cute little booth in Timezone.

Then the movie. We were 20 minutes late. Haha.

So after the movie, we stayed but we kept moving seats because it was a fixed showing. But it's alright, the employees directing the people were cool with it.

Mmm... then we went around again after the movie pala. Went to Makati Supermarket and saw these huge ass cookies! We bought one. The vanilla one. And it tasted like an ordinary cookie. Hm. I expected more from it but how unfortunate.

Next, we went back to Laguna then I noticed that my phone for my Globe sim died.

It died.

... So I can't use it anymore. I'm using my Sun now. Which sucks. No more unlitxt to Bee. Sad.

Anyways, we first went to 7/11 and bought chips and load for my Sun. Pero pahirap ang Sun sa akin at ako ay tuluyang nabwisit; tinigil ko ang pag-load.

Then, off to Bee's place. First, we hung out with ate Francine and watched PBB with her. Haha, I have no freaking idea about that show so we tried my sim again and ate Tortillas. Bee looked for a movie to watch while I cursed my cellphone. Damn you, Sun!

After that, we went upstairs to his room and watched this horror movie about souls. It bored me so we just chilled. The movie wasn't even scary. *sob sob*

Around midnight, he took me home.

But before he left, we saw the sky and... wow. Just... wow. Beautiful. The stars were so clear and bright against the dark contrast of the sky. Just... beautiful. I'd love to stargaze but Bee started feeling pain in his stomach.

I got so freaking worried. Gah! Like, thoughts ran through my head so I became emotional.

I cried. I couldn't help it.

But at least, he got home safely.

Tomorrow is a holiday so no classes. Sweet.

Sigh. What to do tomorrow, then? Oh, and Pappi's going to stay over at Joji's place from now on. Gah. No more privacy, then. Sucks as. Haha. Ohwells.

Bibiboo: love you like your smile that i always want to see. :]

Bumbum: love you like the hugs you give and i still feel that
right now that your arms are around me <3

Labels: bee, sexy times

Rise

I'm not normally a jealous person, but sometimes I find myself feeling that certain emotion wherein one's chest would suddenly constrict. Helplessness.

And I only feel this certain emotion with him.

Bee.

Why? No idea.

I continuously look for the answer to why exactly am I like this now. I used to not care of the guys I dated. Care in a way that he's everything I need and I want him to feel it. I used to give out motherly care; pure instincts, I guess, but... why. Why is it different now?

I'm young. I have so much time in the world. But... the question why plagues my head over and over again when I think of how I yearn to just be with him. No use of words or touches... just presence. Just to feel that he's there.

Then the 'jealousy' part comes when the stories of the past are brought up. His and mine.

However, have the thought of maybe he's jealous too ever crossed my mind?

No. But... is/was he?

I've never bothered to ask, even though curiosity gets the better of me sometimes.

Although... you know what? Why am I even thinking of this? I'm starting to think again and that's not good for my mentality right now. Fragility of my mind has certainly increased since yesterday (or maybe a good few days ago).

The first part of my day was fun. Cat and I stalked this gay dude with a tattoo on his back and he noticed that we were following him. It was quite fun, actually, but he noticed that he was being followed so he and his friend tried to ditch/avoid us.

But that's where the thrill of the chase came. We love the adrenaline rush out of it. Haha.

Unfortunately, as soon as the class started, though... my mind just went kapoot. INTPHIL became so boring now and PHILHIS... that class will forever be boring.

As soon as I finished classes, Bee and I hung out at the cafeteria first then walked to Phase 5. We ate isaw and BBQ and Nicol dropped by for a few minutes to say hi. We gave her BBQ. Haha.

Afterwards, Bee dropped me home on foot and I escorted him to the gate so he can call a tryke. Fortunately, there was one waiting already. Sweet-as.

Now I'm sleepy and I have to get up early tomorrow for class. But I have the stalker-thing with Cathy... she ain't online, though. Gah! Hopefully, she typed the paper thingy. If not... I'll help do it tomorrow and we can cram. Sigh.

I'm off to sleep in a while. Rawr.

Labels: bee, stalk

Burnt Tongue

One of my worst days ever.

I've always wanted my days to be worry-free. To have this happy feeling as soon as I wake up. Apparently, fate doesn't agree with me and so it throws shit at my face. Are you happy, fate? I'm miserable today.

My body hurts like a bitch.

My mentality has decreased to a mere ounce of sarcasm and a degree lower than dirt.

And I talked to my mother as if I knew better than her.

Now, who am I to speak like such a freaking god when I knew that I still have a long way to go before I can totally say that I am old enough or mature enough to think for my own in such ways that my parents wouldn't even bother?

I had said so many things that I can't take back. I gave out my opinion to my mother who thought that I was a saint. I told her I cuss, I told her I didn't believe in our chosen religion... I told her so many things that I wish I hadn't said.

But I couldn't stop.

My fingers typed and typed like fluid on keyboard and I couldn't. Fucking. Stop.

It hurts to think that I've changed her perception of me now.

But at least I'm not living a lie.

I told her straight-to-the-point on how I feel and what I truly believe in. But was it worth it?

I can't say it is.

But right now, I'm not only afraid of my mum knowing how I really am now, but how other people would think of me now. I mean, I told Bee about it. Emotions are excluded from chats but I can honestly say that I'm emotional everywhere. I am the type of person who shows what she really feels: through print or in the flesh.

Sometimes... it's hard to read him. He's an open book with unusual writings that I just wished I could try and understand. Most of the time, I would think I understood him but it's hard to tell. Major sigh.

I can honestly say... this is another day of which sleep will not come easily.

Back to staring at the ceiling for me, then.

Word of advice

to myself:

Stop thinking with

your mouth. Learn

from your mistakes.

Labels: crap

Dual

June 3

Went out with Bee.

Met up with Felipe, Anna, and Earl.

Introduced to Willian (Felipe's friend).

June 4

Went to Bel-Air after classes.

Walked from somewhere near McDo till Bee's house.

Hung out there and made pancakes.

Went to Ding's place (computer shop) and played Counter-Strike.

Went back to Bee's place to get stuff for footsal.

Was supposed to go to Westgrove, but ended up going to Bel-Air's field instead.

Went to 7/11 and bought food (balot and Big Gulp).

Went to Paseo and ate at Tropical Hut.

(was with: Bee, Sho, James, Roy, Ralph, and Mike.)

Labels: mix

2nd Month

June 1st

2008

Our 2nd month together. <3

Don't you just feel the love?

First part of the day was spent sleeping. I have no idea why I was so tired but anyway.

Went out with Bee around 4 PM. He gave me the most adorable jacket ever. *hearts and squeals all around*

We then went to Carmona and ate at Pizza Hut. Wala lang. Lakas trip. Then hung out at Starbucks till the sun went down. The sky was so pretty. It was like a painting on canvas. *sparkly eyes*

Afterwards, we went to 7/11 and bought some ice cream.

Then to his house where we chilled. Haha.

Roy and Ralph dropped by but didn't stay very long as they picked up Sho and went out somewhere. Bee and I stayed and watched the Animal Planet. Raw and jaw-dropping show about worms inside a person's body.

It was weird.

So... yeah. We ignored the show and just... hung out. (:

It was a fun day.

Happy 2nd Birthday, Bee.

I love you. <3

Labels: 2nd, bee, sexy times